We’re all in it together, yeah? This is it, the utopian vision.
5.David Silva, Spain (v Poland)
Ok, it was a friendly, but still. If I had a category called ‘piss takes’ this would be up there.
4.Esteban Cambiasso, Argentina (v Serbia)
Yeah, yeah. Obviously.
3.Paul Scholes, Manchester United (v Panathanaikos)
This previously appeared in the ‘chips’ category, but it belongs here (look at the lovely Farfan goal I replaced it with). As I said, if you’re going to try a chip at the end of team move like this then you’d better not miss. It’s my favourite Scholes goal, and a brilliant team goal too.
2. Socrates, Greece (v Germany)
“Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes, Archimedes out to Heraclitus, he beats Hegel; Heraclitus a little flick, here he comes on the far post, Socrates is there, Socrates heads it in! Socrates has scored! The Greeks are going mad, the Greeks are going mad. Socrates scores, a beautiful cross from Archimedes. The Germans are disputing it. Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside”
1. Graziano Mannari, Milan (v Juventus)
I’ve never heard of Mannari, but he applies the finishing touch to this imperious Milan move with a superman header. Ergo, he is a bit of a ledge.